tims_world

We had a guest speaker come this weekend and he spoke at our Friday night Large Group and our Saturday Servants meeting. He talked about calling and how we need to manage our life around our calling. But even before that he talked about calling and how we learn of ours. This spoke to me as it is what I have been struggling with the past few months. I just have no idea of where I’m supposed to go from here. I remember an activity we did in Bible Study this past week. We broke into teams and each team selected one person. This person was blindfolded and spun around. Then our team and to direct this person to find his or her shoe and put it on a chair in the middle of the room. The blindfolded people described that the hardest part was not being blind but not knowing which of the yelling voices to follow. There were just too many voices competing for their attention. Pastor Bob Oh, our speaker, said that you need to spend time in prayer and fasting to know your calling. Taking that one step further, the point of prayer and fasting is to focus one’s heart on God and silence all the other voices. We can say we want to hear God all we want and he could even be speaking (and often does) but the problem is we can’t hear him because of all the other noise in our lives.

This comes at such an opportune time. I think things have been getting better but even better yet is that Revival is on the way. I’ve just sort of been hoping that Revival will be that electric shock that jump starts me again. As we always stress here – we need to prepare ourselves even before it. As such, now is the most opportune time to get things in line. To silence the other voices and set my ears on God – I’m going to give up video games (Starcraft 2 and League of Legends and all other related things, including not watching the WCG Finals) until after Revival. I won’t watch football until the week after Revival. I’m going to fast and pray a little more than normal. If I really want to get out of this pit that I’m in, I have to take it seriously and want to get out.

Lord, I’m giving you these next two weeks.

Thoughts calling, fasting, praying, Revival

It’s about that time of year again where we start reading through the Bible. I think I’m approaching, if I have not already, double digits in the number of times I’ve read it through. Every single time, it’s difficult to do. As difficult as it is and as legalistic as it can somtimes seem, it is always rewarding and I am glad my church makes us do it.

Yesterday I read through my blogs and my favorite one, written by Tim Challies, had an article about reading through the Bible. You can read it here at www.challies.com. One of the biggest “problems” comes when you have to slug through certain books. For me, it’s namely the Pentateuch and major prophets. They just become a grind and I get discouraged and unmotivated to read. I find reading 1 chapter from 10 different books to be much more appealing. It takes away the grind of having to read chapter after chapter of Leviticus. I’m excited to try this out.

One caveat: You are supposed to read the Bible straight through for Servant Meeting Attendees. The Bible is ordered in a specific way for a specific reason and they want you to read it that way. Don’t be rebellious like me and read it the right way.

Thoughts Bible

A couple days ago, I had a dream and in that dream, I made a choice. I woke up pleased with the choice my subconscious made. That day, I faced a choice and made a decision I regret – almost contrary to the one my subconscious made. I despaired and felt guilty. At the core of my being, I know what’s right yet my desires rage within me. Another year, yet I feel the same. The same struggles, the same internal battle, the same external conditions – just one year older.

But today at large group, it was all about grace. Mark – his desertion – there was grace. There was a second chance and time for God to work in his life and make him someone useful to Paul. Peter – his early years with Jesus were marked with failure and denial. He was redeemed and started the church. There was grace for them. Grace that covered their sins. Grace that gave them a second chance. Grace that allowed them to keep on going through mistakes and toils. There is grace because God loves us. We are covered with the blood of Christ.

It’s not just another year. I’m not just another year older. It might all seem the same but there’s something more going on. While it seems like all the same struggles and failures, there is another year of grace. There is another year of God working in my life – changing me into someone useful for his kingdom. Though I don’t see it now, though I have no idea what my future holds, though I struggle and sometime despair at the prospect of what lies (or does not lie) ahead, I know there will be another year of grace. There will be another year of forgiveness and sanctification. God is still at work in my life – it’s another year for God’s grace to work in my life.

I’m still alive because God’s will is not yet done for me.

Thoughts

This book discusses how to read the Bible, how to read people, and how to apply one to another. He talks about how to read and understand the Bible. It is important to note all the literary components and historical and cultural context. However, the overall approach is to understand the passage in light of redemptive history. The goal is to understand the overarching story of the Bible. When we “read” people, we are looking to understand the person in three aspects, as saint, sinner, and sufferer. They are new creations if they have Christ yet are still sinners and suffer the consequences of sin. We need to understand these three aspects of a person. Then we tie the story of the Bible into these three aspects of their life. What does the Bible say to address this person as saint, sinner, and sufferer? We don’t want to give quick fixes, though they are useful and good to do but even better is to tie the person into the whole redemptive story. As we understand the passages from a redemptive history perspective, we are able to see not just where they came from and where they are now, but where they are going. That is a crucial aspect to counseling. It’s not just addressing the issues that happened in their past which shaped them to who they are now, though that is an important thing to do. It’s not just addressing the issues they are struggling with now, though that is also a necessary thing to do. We also want to address where they are going, who are they becoming. They are becoming like Christ and we need to convey that hope to them.

This book does an excellent job at unpacking and explaining all of this. It also gives some useful examples and case studies of how this is done. One interesting thing the author does is to take the same passage and apply it to two different people’s counseling situation. Though I feel the conversations are a little contrived and “easy”, it’s interesting to see how he highlights and uses different aspects of the same passage to people struggling with different things. However, the majority of the content in this book are things that I have heard before in my counseling class. I was hoping for more concrete substance rather than an approach to using the Bible. Maybe that’s the exact point I’m missing. I’m want “in this situation, use X and in this situation, use Y” where as this book gives you a toolkit to understand the Bible and know how to leverage it for counseling. You can use any passage for almost anything as long as you understand the overarching theme of the Bible. (Of course some passages are better and more pointed than others.) All this to show that I’m lazy and need to spend more time studying the Bible.

I recommend this book to people who want to know how to use the Bible to help counsel people. It will help inform the way you understand the Bible, people, and apply one to the other.

Thoughts book review, counseling

This summer I’ll be taking a break from my counseling classes. However, I intend not to stop learning. One thing that I enjoyed from my classes was that they forced me to read. This summer I plan on reading two books. The first is titled “CrossTalk Where Life & Scripture Meet” by Micahel R Emlet. This book was recommended to me by my counseling course TA. We learned about giving homework assignments in our counseling course. The purpose of the homework is to have the person study a passage of scripture that relates to the issue they are going through. It should expose their heart and show them an applicable aspect of God and how he works in such situations. I made a comment about how I feel like it is difficult for me to do this even though I’ve read through the Bible multiple times. It’s one thing to read the Bible and another to know how to apply various passages to various situations that people go through. My TA told me that this is a great book and resource to aid me in this aspect of my ministry. Thus, I shall read this book and learn.

The next book is “Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy” by Eric Metaxas. Last year I read the book “The Cost of Discipleship” by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. I read the introduction about the author and just fell in love with Bonhoeffer. That brief snippet of his life and what he did enthralled me. Almost a month ago, a blogger that I follow, Tim Challies, did a review on this book claiming it was one of his top 10 biographies. I decided this summer that I’d read one “Christian” book and another book. I choose a biography and picked Bonhoeffer over John Calvin. Maybe next year Calvin.

Combined the books are 721 pages long. I’m a slow reader. Hopefully, while the Starcraft2 Beta is offline I’ll be able to crank through these books. I plan on writing book reviews for these so hopefully you’ll see them soon.

Life book review, summer

About one year ago I had a meeting with my boss. We were discussing the ability to run multiple tests and keep track of multiple things at work. I was having difficulty managing more than 2 complex tests at a time. He wanted me doing 4. Every job I added not only incurred the cost of doing that job but also the overhead of keeping track of everything. The cost of adding more jobs to the list of things I needed to do at the same time was too high. I couldn’t keep track of everything.

I read this article about multitasking the other day. (It’s a good read for our attention deficit generation.) It talked about the cost of multitasking and what it is doing to our brains. One anecdote really caught my attention.

Recently, she was baking peanut butter cookies for Teacher Appreciation Day when her phone chimed in the living room. She answered a text, then became lost in Facebook, forgot about the cookies and burned them. She started a new batch, but heard the phone again, got lost in messaging, and burned those too. Out of ingredients and shamed, she bought cookies at the store.

Last night I was watching Day[9], my favorite Starcraft2 commentator, who has an incredible series – Day[9] Dailies in which he analyzes high level Starcraft play and breaks it down for us n00bs as well as teaches people how to get better. Last night it was on multitasking – mental checklists. Being good at Starcraft is all about being able to do multiple things. We are finite beings only capable of doing one thing at a time so the ability to do that one thing really fast gives you a lead. In this daily, Day[9] showed us that it’s not about doing things really fast, or in the Starcraft world, having really high APM, but it’s about remembering to do the right things and doing them well. He breaks it down into a mental check list of 3 things. Do these three things and you will be a good Starcraft player. (If you want to know what these three things are, I advise you to watch the video here.)

The issue isn’t being able to do things really fast. It’s not even (necessarily) information overload. The issue is that we forget our mental checklist, or the priorities on our mental checklist is wrong when we’re inundated with information. Go back up to that anecdote I posted from the NYTimes article. The keyword is she forgot. It’s not that multitasking caused her to burn the cookies. The issue is that she forgot to check the cookies while on facebook and txting. If she were constantly saying to herself “Are the cookies done yet? Are the cookies done yet?” she probably wouldn’t have forgotten the cookies.

The issue does arise when we have so many things to keep track of. Those three basic things in Starcraft 2 start out as easy but soon contain many subpoints as the game progresses. Likewise, at work, the list of things to do may not be incredibly simple to be contained in a nice simple list that fits in memory. This is where Starcraft 2 and work diverge. You don’t need to be doing 300 APM at work. People will think you’re crazy for spamming your keyboard and it’s impossible to do 300 APM for 8 hours (granted if you’re going that fast you’ll probably finish your work in well under 8 hours). You have time so WRITE IT DOWN and I yell that in all caps for my own benefit. I don’t need to keep everything in memory. I can set up timers to remind myself of certain things. I can use pencil and paper (old school tech ftw!) to keep track of what I was doing and what I need to do. Hopefully this will help me keep track of everything that I need to do. The ability to multitask in Starcraft can help me multitask at work better.

SIDE NOTE before I end this now long blog post: We had a course at work almost two years back about how to use Outlook to help organize or make our work more efficient. Outlook is actually capable of doing everything I just mentioned but the problem is people never really use it as such. It truly is a powerful productivity tool and goes much beyond simple emailing.

Life, Thoughts Starcraft2, work

In 2007 I went to Kenya on a mission trip. I started training with our other Summer Mission Teams even before our special trip was finalized. I wanted to be prepared so I went to training to pray even before if I knew I was going or not. On the trip, we (I) ran into multiple snags – it was not the smoothest trip. The biggest snags that happened on the trip was when I blew up the power supply on our server computer that we had preloaded and shipped from the US. I was being very careful about checking voltages on our equipment (I fried a battery charger in China). I had forgot to check the computer’s voltage, plugged it in, and turned it on. When smoke arose from the back of the computer and I realized what happened, I think some audible obscenities left my mouth. I was pissed, my team was pissed, and we had no idea what was going to happen. I had single-handedly jeopardized our whole trip.

I went for a walk. I was yelling at God. Why would this happen? Why would he let me make such a crucial mistake? I had prayed so much before the trip. I was the only one to seriously raise support for this trip. I had prayer partners back home praying for me and our trip. Why God! I had prayed against stuff like this. Why did you let this happen? I did not want to be in Kenya at that moment.

Everything worked out in the end. We were able to repurpose another computer and “accomplish” what we set out to do. But as I prepare for my trip to Kyrgyzstan, the question lingers: “Why did this happen?” I think today’s sermon by Dr. Solomon Aryeetey touched on the answer when he addressed suffering and the purpose of prayer. From my notes: “If our highest goal is comfort, then suffering is bad. If our highest goal is Christ-likeness then suffering is another one of God’s tools to get us there.” We suffer as a refining process of God. (You can reference my previous post for more about suffering.) Then the purpose of prayer should not be to escape suffering.

I pray to conform my will to God’s will. Not my will but thine be done – Luke 22:42 (KJV) I had this realization today while praying at Mission Training. I should not pray that this trip goes according to our plan. I need to be praying that I see God’s purpose for this trip. I need to pray that I learn the appropriate lessons when things happen. I need to learn patience when our equipment is lost. I need to learn to trust in his provision when equipment breaks. I need to learn faith when I lose my yellow fever vaccination card.

If God wants us to die on our way there or back, so be it. He is sovereign, my prayers will not change that – his will be done. We should not be praying to avoid suffering but be able to see Christ in the midst of it. As I prepare to go to Kyrgyzstan this summer, won’t you please pray for me that God’s will would be done in my life, my team’s life, the missionaries’ lives, and in all the people that we encounter. Please pray that we would all be able to see that all the things he is doing are marvelous, even if they are not according to our plan.

Thoughts Kyrgyzstan, mission, praying, suffering

I am in the process of taking counseling courses with CCEF. I will complete my Introduction to Biblical Counseling Certificate after this semester. One thing I have been learning is that the initial agenda in counseling is not to come at them with a long list of ways they need to change but to help them to see. They are spiritually blind to what God is trying to do in them through their circumstances. It is not enough to tell them but to open up their eyes through good questions and the use of scripture.

One area where this is difficult in sickness, death, and overall suffering. “Why is this happening to me?”, “Is it because I did something bad?” “Is it because I’ve sinned and God is trying to punish me?”. It is hard for people to see what God is doing in the midst of difficulty. Thankfully God gives us his word!

As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. And his disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.

– John 9:1-3

But when Jesus heard it he said, “This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.”

– John 11:4

These two passages popped out at me while I was doing my Bible reading this morning. The man was born blind not because of any sin or punishment. The purpose of his physical disability was to display the work of God. Lazarus’s death was for the purpose of glorifying God and Jesus. There is a God honoring purpose for these instances of suffering. Our jobs as counselors is not just to give comfort, which needs to be done, but to help people see God, his glory, and his work in the midst of their suffering. They need to see the redemptive value in what God is doing in their lives.

Thoughts counseling, suffering

Wow, my last blog entry was 1/1/10, nearly 2 months ago. I’ve been crazy busy this semester. So much so that I felt like I’ve just been running around with little time to catch my breath. In the midst of my hustle and bustle, I’ve been looking for relief in the wrong ways. I would escape to play video games with my childhood friends in any and every free hour I had. But it did not satisfy, but left me craving more. Just one more ‘W’, one more game …

He who is full loathes honey, but to the hungry even what is bitter tastes sweet.

- Proverbs 27:7 – my self was hungry and resorted to bitter treats. It was snacking on things that could not make me full. When I finally opened my eyes (or rather, God opened them for me) and confessed my struggles to some friends who spoke truth in my life and prayed for me, then I saw my problem.

Rev. Charlie Dates spoke at our All-Campus worship on Friday and it was just what my soul needed. A reminder that I was looking in all the wrong places. I needed some living water so that I would no longer thirst. And this comes at just the right time. It’s funny, really. God always seems to move especially more during Lent. I restricted my gaming for Lent but now He tells me to give it up completely. The biggest reason why I didn’t want to was b/c of the joy I experienced when playing w/ my friends. The game wasn’t my escape – it was my friends. I was looking to them for only what God could give me – comfort, rest, and relief from a busy schedule.

I committed to going to Wednesday Night Prayer Meetings again – something I’ve put off the whole school year so far. I will also be attending the Mission Training meetings as well. There’s a potential trip in the works so I need to start getting ready in case it happens. All these things coming together at around the same time. It is just what I have been telling my small group – we need to put off, and put on.

It’s funny how God works.

Thoughts church, Lent, mission

Last night I was at my grandma’s apt and they found this old vcr tape. We watched various footage taken from ’85 – ’89 which puts me in the age range from 2-6. It’s weird watching yourself so young. It’s almost like a different person. What was more fascinating was seeing my late grandpa hold my baby sister and talk into the camera. It makes me wonder what it will be like to continue to get older. Seeing my parents now and what everything will be like in 25 years. I ponder life and what the future holds. How befitting this all occurred on New Years Eve. Here’s to looking ahead to a new year.

Life