A year filled with grace
A couple days ago, I had a dream and in that dream, I made a choice. I woke up pleased with the choice my subconscious made. That day, I faced a choice and made a decision I regret – almost contrary to the one my subconscious made. I despaired and felt guilty. At the core of my being, I know what’s right yet my desires rage within me. Another year, yet I feel the same. The same struggles, the same internal battle, the same external conditions – just one year older.
But today at large group, it was all about grace. Mark – his desertion – there was grace. There was a second chance and time for God to work in his life and make him someone useful to Paul. Peter – his early years with Jesus were marked with failure and denial. He was redeemed and started the church. There was grace for them. Grace that covered their sins. Grace that gave them a second chance. Grace that allowed them to keep on going through mistakes and toils. There is grace because God loves us. We are covered with the blood of Christ.
It’s not just another year. I’m not just another year older. It might all seem the same but there’s something more going on. While it seems like all the same struggles and failures, there is another year of grace. There is another year of God working in my life – changing me into someone useful for his kingdom. Though I don’t see it now, though I have no idea what my future holds, though I struggle and sometime despair at the prospect of what lies (or does not lie) ahead, I know there will be another year of grace. There will be another year of forgiveness and sanctification. God is still at work in my life – it’s another year for God’s grace to work in my life.
I’m still alive because God’s will is not yet done for me.