A Scary Road
It’s dangerous to succeed. I’m most concerned for those who aren’t even 30 and are very gifted and successful. Sometimes God uses someone right out of youth, but usually he uses leaders who have been crushed.
- Chuck Swindoll, 10 Leadership Lessons Learned in 50 Years of Leadership
Pastor Jung sent us these 10 leadership lessons two days ago, the same day that I wrote my previous entry. Starting this summer and through now, I’ve been going through a rude awakening. I’ve been working with college students for the past 5 years, who are usually 18-23. I’m often called ‘old’ and seen as someone who’s so wise and knowledgeable, like I have the answers to everything. Even now, I’m one of the oldest small group leaders in CRH. I feel like there is this expectation that I need to help set the tone for all these new leaders. And this is where it gets scary.
I’m only 26 years old, just barely over a quarter century. People have been doing ministry for over twice my lifetime. This summer I got to be in small group w/ guys who are older and more mature. I felt like a kid in their presence. How do I come off thinking like I’m some sort of spiritual adult? Compared to them I’m still in diapers with so much to learn. Here’s the exact danger that Mr. Swindoll warns of. People come to Christ during our small groups. People’s lives are changed. People grow spiritually and come alive. Then they think I had something to do with it b/c it happened in “my small group”. It’s easy to become proud and arrogant, things that I constantly struggle with. Sometimes I throw that around with a perceived cavalier attitude but it is one of the two things that scares me to my core. I’m scared of becoming proud and being consumed by my own self-glory. I’m scared of thinking I’m all-that and trusting in my own abilities and talents. I’m scared of relying on myself and then God is missing from the picture.
Lord, never use me beyond my humility.