The Picture of Adulthood
Earlier this summer I had a chat with one of the older guys who I have now gotten to know over the summer. I forget how the conversation started but it went something like:
Him: “Young adults are from the age 21-23. Maybe 24.”
Me: “That means I’m not a young adult. What am I then?”
Him: “You’re an adult.”
His last statement caught me completely off guard. I blabbered on about how I was still a young adult and you’re not an adult until … and that remains the question. What am I? Am I an adult? I still feel like a young adult. What makes one an adult? A job, family, house – the American dream?
I think it’s an issue of responsibility. The young adult is the bird kicked out of the nest, fluttering around trying to make it own its own. The mother bird is still there able to give a hand and the nest is still open. The adult is the self-sufficient bird. It is able to fly, find it’s own food, and build its own nest.
According to my own definition I fit the ‘adult’ bill. But I don’t want to. Perhaps I see the adult in the family. He or she is isolated into his or her own family community. I don’t have that right now. I can’t be the adult in a family context. All I am in a family context is alone. Single and by myself.
Young Adult is all about community. You don’t have your own family yet so you congregate together and become a family. You build community. I want community; I need community. Me as a Single Adult elicits pictures of coming home from work, popping in a microwave dinner, and vegging out until bed time only to repeat it the the next day. It is devoid of relationships and meaningful purpose. The young adult is the one going out after work, has plans for the weekends, and peers to fellowship with. In short, the picture of a Young Adult has a life whereas the Single Adult doesn’t.
Perhaps my desire not to be labeled as an adult stems from my negative view of what a single adult looks like. The Young Adult label fits me so much better. I don’t think this desire to remain a Young Adult is a problem. I think it’s that the current trends don’t fit that of the previous generation. People aren’t getting married out of college; more like waiting until their late 20′s or 30′s. To be single before was a lonely existence. Now, it’s not big deal. The societal landscape has changed. We look very much like the iconic sitcoms ‘Friends’ and ‘Seinfeld’ that defined our picture of the single young adult life during our impressionable youth. That is what we want at this stage our lives. What we need is a picture of the responsible single person in their late 20′s who embodies the values and priorities of one who serves the Lord in his or her different callings.