Why I’m still Single
The thoughts in this post stems from my previous post.
You can use this time before you’re married to prepare yourself for marriage. You bring who you are into the marriage; bring the best.
These are words I’ve often heard told to singles. I think they’re meant to encourage a single to properly use their time as a single to prepare for marriage. They say “Use the time to prepare for marriage” but I hear “Your character, who you are and what you do, is not ready to be married.” Many times I think that I am not the right person or doing the right things but if my character is ready, then I will no longer be single but married.
I find two problems with this train of thinking. First, does anyone have character ready for marriage? Some may be more ready than others but no one’s ever perfect. There are still character flaws, bad habits, wrong thinking, and to put it succinctly, they are still sinful. The second is that this line of thinking is self centered and self serving verses God centered and God serving. The line of thought is ‘improve character’ leads to ‘marriage’. I improve myself for the end result of being a better partner for marriage. God isn’t in the picture. The end goal is to get married, not to please God.
I don’t have perfect character; I’m still a fallen and sinful man. However, perhaps there is another reason I’m not married yet instead of this character reasoning. Let me use a parallel illustration.
To live is Christ and to die is gain Phil 1:21. I want to go to Heaven right now. It is for my benefit to die now; I will be in a much better place. The reason I’m not dead is for Christ. I still have life so I can advance his purpose and his glory. I am sovereignly alive because he has prepared good works for me to do. (Eph 2:10)
In the same way, perhaps I am sovereignly still single because God has prepared good work for me to do that I can only do while single. There are ministry opportunities that exist for me as a single that would not exist if I were married which I reasoned in my previous post and others have confirmed. I’m sure that God wants to be with me in Heaven but it’s not my time yet. My work here isn’t finished. And perhaps I’m still single because my work as a single isn’t finished yet. It’s not my time to get married. There’s still work for me to do.