Thankful for . . .
Last night I had the opportunity to share my college testimony. I had wanted to share it with several people but the chance never came up. I was somewhat glad when PJung asked me to share it during Thanksgiving dinner. Lots of people know me now but very few knew me from before and I’ve wanted to share who I was and what happened to make me who I am now. I’m not a very good public speaker so it didn’t come out exactly how I wanted it to. I’ll share it here for the people who missed out or if it wasn’t that clear.
My freshmen year I came into this school thinking I knew it all. I was on my youth group leadership team for three years. I had been on 2 mission trips to inner city Philadelphia and spent a whole summer in Malawi Africa building an orphanage. I came into school wanting a break from serving and just wanted to be served. My attitude toward small group was to serve me and to love me. Though I only missed 3 small group Bible Studies all year, I consistently fell asleep in small group, sitting right next to my small group leader and I would ditch my small group after large group to hang out with my friends. (I didn’t consider my small group my friends.) I showed favoritism between my leaders and was even rebuked for giving one of them a hard time. I told my small group leader I didn?t like how he ran Bible study and told him how I?d make it better. He tried to explain to me how Bible Study worked but I was too proud to listen. I was not a “model” small group member.
The turning point came my sophomore year when I signed up to go on missions. I thought I was all that having gone on mission trips before, even to Africa so I thought I could handle 3 weeks in the Chicago Inner City. I was wrong. CFC missions was totally not what I expected and it rocked me. It was the first time I ever felt like I was going to die from praying too much. My selfishness showed on the trip as I neglected my team and slept every moment I could. I fell asleep during prayer times and complained about how little we slept and what a bad witness we were falling asleep in the church we were working with. After the trip Pastor Joe showed me my selfishness and explained to me the bad attitude I had. Then everything suddenly made sense. The light finally went on in my head. I understood why we had to be tired all the time. Why we had to spend time reading the Bible and so much time praying. There were so many who didn?t have a personal relationship with Jesus and this is the reason why we had to do these things. The reason why we stayed up till 2am praying was to pray for the lost. The reason I read the Bible is to be prepared to share God with people I encounter. The harvest field ? all the people who don?t know Christ is the reason why I did all the things in youth group and at church. It gave purpose to this “church thing”, all the things I just did because I was told to.
When I came back to school my junior year, I was completely changed. I switched my meal plan to 10 meals and 4500 points so I could serve my leaders and small group members by feeding them. I started praying more for my friends and the lost people in my dorms. I started up Snyder morning prayers to pray for our mission field. Outreach was the reason why I stayed in the dorms my 5th year. I wasn?t doing the church thing because that?s what I?ve done my whole life but because I see the need for people to know Jesus and to prepare me for that purpose.
I’m thankful for my freshmen year leaders who invested in me though I was a rebel at the time. Their example towards me shapes how I view and interact with others. I’m thankful for PJoe and the SMP committee who took a chance on me letting me go to missions. I did about zero kingdom work while on the trip but it’s shaped and set the tone all I’ve ever done since then. I’m thankful to God who wasn’t content to let me remain the proud kid I was but break me and mold me and continue to change me for the purposes he has for my future.