It’s a New Day
Wow – yesterday was an incredibly tough day. So many things went on that I didn’t understand or didn’t like. One thing after another. Worse off was I had to lead Bible Study at night. After I finished work, I was praying and trying to have an undivided heart before Bible Study. Then as I was driving to the Orange to pick up people for small group, I get to a four way stop and I see a cop car. He isn’t going when it’s his turn and I just knew he was going to pull me over. So I go through the intersection and sure enough – I get pulled over because one of my headlights had gone out last night and I didn’t get a chance to replace it. Thankfully I only received a warning but I was now having an incredibly difficult time during Bible Study. All I could think of for question number one was that “If I didn’t feel like changing my headlight right way – I sure was going to do it now.” I grinded through Bible Study and praise God it seemed like people got something out of it b/c it definately wasn’t me. We were also fasting and going to retreat prayer meeting afterwards. At the PM, I just couldn’t pray. I just kept asking God why? Why all this today, during a day I was fasting and praying, leading Bible Study, and trying my best to have an undivided heart. I think I even fell asleep towards the end of the prayer meeting. Then I was like great . . . I have to share and pray with Annie after this. I can’t even pray now, how am I supposed to lead us in prayer. So we shared and talked and then went upstairs to pray. The one good thing about leading the prayer times is that I get to determine what we pray about. It was a bit longer than usual but I wanted to keep on going because I was actually praying. I was feeling strengthened and empowered while we prayed.
I don’t think I understood it last night but as I sit here and write this, I think about my devotions last week that I was sharing with Annie. God does not tempt us, it’s our desires that tempt us. I think about the sermon I listened to last week – Finding God in the Desert. We go through hardships to reveal what is inside of us. As I examine what’s inside of me, I see a frustrated heart that wants to understand and be in control. I see a heart that wants things to go my way and I want to be a part of the decisions that affect me. I have difficulty trusting in God and howl instead of singing through the difficult and trying situations. I need to become a man of grace, depending on the Lord, trusting in him in all situations. Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Today is a new day.