I am in the process of taking counseling courses with CCEF. I will complete my Introduction to Biblical Counseling Certificate after this semester. One thing I have been learning is that the initial agenda in counseling is not to come at them with a long list of ways they need to change but to help them to see. They are spiritually blind to what God is trying to do in them through their circumstances. It is not enough to tell them but to open up their eyes through good questions and the use of scripture.
One area where this is difficult in sickness, death, and overall suffering. “Why is this happening to me?”, “Is it because I did something bad?” “Is it because I’ve sinned and God is trying to punish me?”. It is hard for people to see what God is doing in the midst of difficulty. Thankfully God gives us his word!
As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. And his disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.
– John 9:1-3
But when Jesus heard it he said, “This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.”
– John 11:4
These two passages popped out at me while I was doing my Bible reading this morning. The man was born blind not because of any sin or punishment. The purpose of his physical disability was to display the work of God. Lazarus’s death was for the purpose of glorifying God and Jesus. There is a God honoring purpose for these instances of suffering. Our jobs as counselors is not just to give comfort, which needs to be done, but to help people see God, his glory, and his work in the midst of their suffering. They need to see the redemptive value in what God is doing in their lives.
Thoughts counseling, suffering
Wow, my last blog entry was 1/1/10, nearly 2 months ago. I’ve been crazy busy this semester. So much so that I felt like I’ve just been running around with little time to catch my breath. In the midst of my hustle and bustle, I’ve been looking for relief in the wrong ways. I would escape to play video games with my childhood friends in any and every free hour I had. But it did not satisfy, but left me craving more. Just one more ‘W’, one more game …
He who is full loathes honey, but to the hungry even what is bitter tastes sweet.
- Proverbs 27:7 – my self was hungry and resorted to bitter treats. It was snacking on things that could not make me full. When I finally opened my eyes (or rather, God opened them for me) and confessed my struggles to some friends who spoke truth in my life and prayed for me, then I saw my problem.
Rev. Charlie Dates spoke at our All-Campus worship on Friday and it was just what my soul needed. A reminder that I was looking in all the wrong places. I needed some living water so that I would no longer thirst. And this comes at just the right time. It’s funny, really. God always seems to move especially more during Lent. I restricted my gaming for Lent but now He tells me to give it up completely. The biggest reason why I didn’t want to was b/c of the joy I experienced when playing w/ my friends. The game wasn’t my escape – it was my friends. I was looking to them for only what God could give me – comfort, rest, and relief from a busy schedule.
I committed to going to Wednesday Night Prayer Meetings again – something I’ve put off the whole school year so far. I will also be attending the Mission Training meetings as well. There’s a potential trip in the works so I need to start getting ready in case it happens. All these things coming together at around the same time. It is just what I have been telling my small group – we need to put off, and put on.
It’s funny how God works.
Thoughts church, Lent, mission
Last night I was at my grandma’s apt and they found this old vcr tape. We watched various footage taken from ‘85 – ‘89 which puts me in the age range from 2-6. It’s weird watching yourself so young. It’s almost like a different person. What was more fascinating was seeing my late grandpa hold my baby sister and talk into the camera. It makes me wonder what it will be like to continue to get older. Seeing my parents now and what everything will be like in 25 years. I ponder life and what the future holds. How befitting this all occurred on New Years Eve. Here’s to looking ahead to a new year.
Life
There were plenty of Kings of Judah who started out so well. Joash, Amaziah, Uzziah, and others. They started off fearing the Lord and walking in his ways. But life went on, things happened, people died, riches and power tempted, and they fell away from the Lord. They were afflicted with disease or face war and trouble but yet they failed to return. It’s just a reminder that no matter how well you start, you can’t cruise. You need to end well.
Thoughts
Last night I watched The Blind Side with a bunch of dormers and it was so good. We had to convince a couple of people to come but they were very glad they saw it. It’s a rather predictable movie but made all the better since it is an actual real-life story. The character portrayals are great. However, what made the movie awesome was that it is not just a story about Michael Oher, but about me.
Michael is troubled teenager. He was taken from his drug addicted mother at a young age and bounced around from foster home to foster home. Eventually his guardian enrolls him in a Christian school but he is soon kicked out of his home. With no place to stay, eating left over popcorn found in the gym, the Tuohy’s take him in. They give him a place to sleep and eventually adopt him as part of their family. They give him help in school, clothes to wear, and teach him how to play football. Eventually, he becomes All-State and recruited by a D-I school. He was drafted in the first round of the NFL and currently plays for the Baltimore Ravens. Michael was given a shot at succeeding in this life by people who learned to care for him. His teachers went out of their way to educate him and turn him from a D student to receiving A’s and B’s. He was taken out of the Memphis projects and given a safe environment to mature and grow as a person.
This is my story – in a spiritual sense. I was born into a world of drugs, crime, sex, and violence. If left there, I would waste away and die. But Jesus rescued me. I was homeless and he gave me a home. I was naked and he clothed me with white linen. I was abandoned and he gave me a spiritual family. He took what would have been a wasted life and transformed it. He poured himself out for me, changing my life and transforming me. He took me from obscurity and worked with me to the point where I was recruited and a first round draft pick for his Team. I’ve just begun starting to play; there is so much more to be done. This is just the beginning of The Story. It’s not just Michael’s story, or my story, but it can be your story too.
Movie Reviews family, progression
This is the first time in 4 years that I get to spend Thanksgiving at home. I’m extremely thankful. Those three years were actually pretty tough. I’ve spent Thanksgiving w/ my family for 22 years so not spending it with them was difficult. The first year I went up to Chicago and got to spend Thanksgiving w/ Qbert and Taft. The next year I spent it in Champaign w/ my roommate Charles, a bunch of international Japanese friends, and other random people. Last year I spent it in Champaign and cooked up a Thanksgiving dinner for a bunch of mostly international/homeless CRH people.
This year, I have more vacation time so I spent it to go home for Thanksgiving. A number of people who came to my house last year asked if I was doing the Thanksgiving dinner again. I had to decline them and say I was going home. When I got home, I found out that our Thanksgiving dinner is going to be more than just my family. We invited some extended family but also some friends from church who don’t have any family in the area.
Then I realized, this is where I get it. My parents model hospitality as we open our home to people in need and feel left out. That first year I was so happy to be spending Thanksgiving w/ my friend’s family. It’s difficult when you’re alone and everyone else is spending time w/ their family. I also realized this is the perfect time to picture the family of Christ. We may not be blood relatives but I can spend Thanksgiving, a family time, with my spiritual family. Last year when I organized and planned a Thanksgiving dinner on campus for CRH, we were a family not by our blood but by the blood of Jesus. Thanksgiving is a wonderful time to spend with your physical family but it’s also an incredible time to include your spiritual family, esp. those who don’t have a physical family, and picture the body of Christ.
Life, Thoughts family, holiday, Thanksgiving
This past weekend, we got to cook our Thanksgiving dinner food at Phil and Yang-hee’s house. They have four cute kids, Elizabeth (5), Hannah (3), Sarah (3, yes, they’re identical twins), and Elijah (1). Since most of the cooking was done when we got there in the afternoon, we just spent time playing w/ the kids. On Sunday, I went over again in the afternoon to pick up some cooking utensils we left there. Phil was out buying groceries so I played with their kids for a little bit while Yang-hee cooked them dinner. We were having a good time but they started getting more and more irritable. They would do things to bother each other and one would start crying and her sisters wouldn’t do anything for her, just stand sit next to me and tell me she’s crying. Eventually dinner was ready so they all ran over to get dinner. Someone took someone else’s seat so one of them started crying again. While Yang-hee was trying to get them settled, I watched over Elijah who was supposed to be gnawing on his ravioli. Rather than nimbling on them w/ his four teeth, he decided to stuff all three in his mouth and force them in there when there wasn’t enough room. He started coughing, then choking, and crying. I patted him on the back to get him to cough it up while Yang-hee pulled them out of his mouth. While we’re preventing Elijah from choking on his raviolis, the girls were complaining about how they want dessert, and apple pie, and blueberry waffles and all these things. Yang-hee calmly tells them that Daddy’s bringing them home from the store and that they can have blueberry waffles tomorrow for breakfast. She instead distracts them with an offer for apple fries (sliced apples) which captures their attention. Eventually Phil comes home and I give him a hand w/ the groceries. Apparently the girls are now in a helpful mood and they help Phil put the groceries into the fridge. They finally get the OJ they’ve been asking for all dinner and once that’s down, they’re off to bed.
Sunday and Saturday were completely different experiences at their house. The girls were easy and fun to be with on Saturday. On Sunday they were cranky, irritable, fussy, and needy. I marveled at Yang-hee’s ability to placate them and manage to feed them dinner. Everyone was fed, changed, and in bed, and no one died. If I was left w/ all four of them, I wouldn’t know what to do. So many different needs, urgencies, and fires to attend, I’d lose my mind. I could handle one of them; just give me Elijah and I’d be alright (except for maybe the changing diapers part) or Elizabeth who can tell me what she wants. But all four at one time, that’s a feat. I definitely like kids and still think I’d like 3-4 but I’d like to have them one at time, if that’s ok with you God.
Life
It’s dangerous to succeed. I’m most concerned for those who aren’t even 30 and are very gifted and successful. Sometimes God uses someone right out of youth, but usually he uses leaders who have been crushed.
- Chuck Swindoll, 10 Leadership Lessons Learned in 50 Years of Leadership
Pastor Jung sent us these 10 leadership lessons two days ago, the same day that I wrote my previous entry. Starting this summer and through now, I’ve been going through a rude awakening. I’ve been working with college students for the past 5 years, who are usually 18-23. I’m often called ‘old’ and seen as someone who’s so wise and knowledgeable, like I have the answers to everything. Even now, I’m one of the oldest small group leaders in CRH. I feel like there is this expectation that I need to help set the tone for all these new leaders. And this is where it gets scary.
I’m only 26 years old, just barely over a quarter century. People have been doing ministry for over twice my lifetime. This summer I got to be in small group w/ guys who are older and more mature. I felt like a kid in their presence. How do I come off thinking like I’m some sort of spiritual adult? Compared to them I’m still in diapers with so much to learn. Here’s the exact danger that Mr. Swindoll warns of. People come to Christ during our small groups. People’s lives are changed. People grow spiritually and come alive. Then they think I had something to do with it b/c it happened in “my small group”. It’s easy to become proud and arrogant, things that I constantly struggle with. Sometimes I throw that around with a perceived cavalier attitude but it is one of the two things that scares me to my core. I’m scared of becoming proud and being consumed by my own self-glory. I’m scared of thinking I’m all-that and trusting in my own abilities and talents. I’m scared of relying on myself and then God is missing from the picture.
Lord, never use me beyond my humility.
Thoughts character, ministry
A Christian family fellowship should surely be able to read and listen to a chapter of the Old Testament and at least half of a chapter of the New Testament every morning and evening. When the practice is first tried, of course, most people will find even this modest measure too much and will offer resistance. It will be objected that it is impossible to take in and retain such an abundance of ideas and associations, that it even shows disrespect for God’s Word to read more than one can seriously assimilate. These objections will cause us quite readily to content ourselves again with reading only verses.
In truth, however, there lurks in the attitude a grave error. If it is really true that it is hard for us, as adult Christians, to comprehend even a chapter of the Old Testament in sequence, then this can only fill us with profound shame; what kind of testimony is that to our knowledge of the scriptures and all our previous reading of them? If we were familiar with the substance of what we read we should be able to follow a chapter without difficulty, especially if we have an open Bible in our hands and participate in the reading.
- Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together
Bonhoeffer calls me out. Usually I’ll just read a couple of verses for my daily devotion and try to analyze and draw out lessons from there. In response, I’ve been trying to read more than just a few verses for my quiet time. The goal has been to understand the content of the verses but also the context of the verses. I want to see what the verses say but also what they say together with the surrounding context and to identify themes. I’m reading through Luke for my quiet times and what P. John Teter’s still stuck with me, that the letter is to Theophilus and would contain themes that are pertinent to him. Lately I’ve been seeing big linking themes regarding money and the purpose of life and death strung throughout the passages. It’s added a new dynamic to my quiet times and is expanding my knowledge of the Bible. I should push my reading deeply to encompass more than just a few verses.
Shouldn’t I, a self-perceived “adult Christian”, be able to assimilate more than just a couple of verses? I’m just a baby attempting to walk.
Thoughts Bible, Spiritual Discipline
Recently I was talking to a small group member about some issues we have with CFC. There are some issues that I disagree or question. I disagree with infant baptism. I question the practical implementations of the courtship model (but agree w/ the underlying principles), if we can be training people better, and some other minor issues. All in all, I probably disagree with maybe 10% of what CFC does. Sometimes that 10% seems like so much but it also means that I do agree with 90% of all that CFC does and I think CFC does that 90% exceptionally well.
There will always be something I disagree with no matter which church I attend. There is no perfect church. What is not to say that something that I may disagree with now, I will agree with later and vice versa as I grow in my faith and understanding? So long as I agree with the core mission and theology, the majority of methods, and am growing and benefiting in my walk with Jesus, then I should not discard it based on a few differences (though core theological differences would be a completely different matter). Though I might have disagreements, CFC is my church and I will continue to support it.
Thoughts church, theology